Ive got to go my house is on fire
by Slayer3
Summary: Drastic times, call for drastic measures*One shot


Title: I've got to go my house is on fire

Summary: Drastic times, call for drastic measures

Genre: Humor/Humor

Timeline: VIP Season Four

Disclaimer: Pam, SPE, J.F Lawton own VIP, Lilly Allen owns the song

S/U: Lilly Allen " Knock'em out"

A/N: Yes I'm back! Sort of, I'm trying to get back into writing again. This fic is just something to get me started in the writing groove..Its loosely based on something that actually happened to me..Enjoy!

_Cant knockem out, _

_You cant walk away, _

_Try desperately to think of the politest way to say _

_Just get out my face _

_just leave me alone_

_ No you cant have my number cause I lost my phone_

_-Lilly Allen "Knockem Out"_

It was a dark and stormy night, wait wrong story…Actually it was an absolute perfect day. The sky was blue, the sun was shinning, the birds were singing the chipmunks were whatever chipmunks do. The best part was that it was the fourth of July weekend, which meant everybody and anybody was trying to find the best excuse to get out of work early and head to the beach. Of course this is nothing new, in Southern California, every day was an excuse to head to the beach, regardless of what day it was. For millions of Californians and millions of tourists this was the perfect time to fire up that grill, have a good ol fashioned bar-B Q and watch the fireworks on the beach. There was one particular group of people who were really glad for extended time off.

The members of VIP were really looking forward to the long weekend, it wasn't that they didn't like their jobs. They loved it, best job in the world, but it was nice for once not to have to worry about staff meetings, client meetings, and any other meetings Kay or Tasha thought was absolutely necessary. Not that either of them particularly loved meetings, it was merely to create the façade of procedure and sticking to the rules which they on a regular basis ignored when it suited them.

Since most of them didn't have any plans for the weekend, Nikki invited everyone over to a beach house her Grandfather had for a barbecue and pool party, and of course watching the fireworks. Through some arm twisting and some what harsh persuasion Tasha had agreed to come and even volunteered to bring something, well she didn't exactly volunteer Val basically said she would bring drinks before she had a chance to say no. She reluctantly agreed in the name of friendship, love and all that jazz, well mostly cause Nikki would've killed her six ways to Sunday if she didn't come. Being the Fourth of July, Val decided on a red and white and blue themed party. In which case you had to wear the colors, red, white or blue. On the surface was fine, cause who doesn't have something red ,white or blue in their wardrobe..Well Tasha didn't, her idea of color was lighter shade of brown or black, or if she was being really crazy khaki. Suffice it to say, she had nothing of either of those colors that were "required", so Val being the ever loving and generous person she was, decided to take her shopping for something that she could wear for the party. Tasha and shopping go to together as well as peanut butter and toothpaste. The whole experience was quite comical, and terrifying, well for the poor store clerk who had to deal with a very unhappy Tasha, and Val making her try on a million and one outfits. It wasn't quite that many,but if felt like an eternity for Tasha, who finally settled on a red shirt, and a white skirt. Nothing fancy, or over the top. Both parties were relieved the whole ordeal was over, well Tasha was really relieved, Val wanted to keep shopping cause she needed more shoes. Due to certain er things beyond her control mostly Tasha threatening her with a painful death if she made her go into one more store, the shoes would have to wait. Unfortunately that wasn't the only "drama" that occurred that day. There was an event, that according to some people namely two people, absolutely did not happen ever. This was a matter of debate as following the alleged event, certain things were beginning to happen. What those things were, well that's classified. Actually, it was like the two swore themselves to secrecy, using all kinds of oaths and well not oaths, they just promised not to tell anyone. The details of the event are murky at best, but here lies the general gist of what happened and the aftermath.

And so it began. It all started when Quick who was manning the grill nearly set himself and the deck attached to house on fire. Which lead to his banning from the grill or anything related to the grill or fire. He was quite upset over his "demotion" so much so that he actually threatened to leave, which was quickly put down, when Nikki's very attractive cousin Carmina came over and well that was the end of that. In his absence , er preoccupation with a certain female, Johnny offered to take up the grilling duties. Everything went fine after that, until things started to run out which tends to happen at these things. First there was a shortage of ice. So Kay offered to go to the nearby store and get some ice. Thus the ice crisis was averted when Kay brought back enough ice to sink the Titanic. The festivities went on for a few more hours till the early evening, till Kay being ever so observant noticed that the fireworks were about to start in an hour or so, and that they should start making their way towards the beach to the watch the display. But there was a problem unless they were all just going to stand the whole time, seating would be required, also in lieu of so many people being on the beach, it would be practical for someone or someones to go down to the beach and save a spot and everyone would then join up with said persons. It was then decided that Johnny and Nikki would pick out a spot and the rest of them would stay back ,help clean up and join them later. The following exchange took place on the way to the finding and the setting up of the spot.

" So..how about over there?" Johnny said pointing to a spot not too far away from the beach house, nearby some beach volleyball courts. Nikki who was carrying a blanket in one arm and a beach chair in the other, responded with a smirk and said " What? Tired already?" That remark earned her an icy glare, that wasn't very icy, or glarey for that matter, it was more of a two-can-play-at-this-game look.

"Me? Oh no, I'm perfectly fine, I was talking about you,since you're obviously tired from all that partying you did" Johnny said matter-of-fact

This earned real glare of death from Nikki who decided that the silent treatment was the best way to deal with situation, and to prove her point, she started to walk ahead of him a ways. The silence lasted for a while as Johnny tried to catch up to her. Finally Nikki picked out a spot about quarter-mile away from the beach house. By the time Johnny caught up to her, she had already set everything up. The sounds of nearby children playing in the ocean and people talking filled the long silence between them. After a few minutes he decided to try and remedy the situation by asking cautiously "Are you mad at me?I was just kidding you know, I would never intentionally make you mad, although..." his voice trailing off.

" Although what?" Nikki asked slyly her anger slowly abating for the moment anyway.

"Nothing" Johnny responded all too quickly, which wasn't lost on Nikki, who started laughing.

Johnny who normally was the picture of cool and zen suddenly found himself getting a little annoyed the games she was playing, first she was all playful , even flirtly,then she acted like he just killed her cat, and within the span of a few minutes going right back to being playful. He had never met someone that made him so happy,frustrated and a nerved all at the same time. Nikki who noticed his slight change of mood, said playfully "No Im not mad you, I was for like a few minutes but I got over it. I just love seeing you squirm. And to make it up to you, Im going to get us some ice cream is that ok?"

"Us? There's an us now? When did this happen?" Johnny said feigning a shocked look on his face. That earned him a playful punch on the shoulder. " You're such a dork honestly" Nikki replied slightly exasperated but with a widening smile on her face

"Oh so now we've resorted to name calling and violence, that's nice" He responded with an equally big smile on his face, while pretending to be wounded. Instead of saying anything back, she just punched him again in the other shoulder. She got up and with a smirk on her face she said " You know you love me"

Johnny just gave her a look, that said you're crazy right?, which made her smirk grow even bigger. She left and started to walk towards to the nearby Dairy Queen which was right across from where they were sitting.

The crowd at the Dairy Queen was large, and spread out between all three walk-up windows. Nikki found a line that wasn't as long as the others and stood, while looking at what she wanted on the big menu board. As she was standing in line, a couple of teen aged boys, wearing lots of jewelry stood in the line next to her. They looked like they just walked out of a Lil Wayne or Lil whomever rap video, and started to strike up a conversation with her. It was mostly them making comments like " Oh you so fine, wont you be my shorty" and " Whats a fine girl like you doing here all by yourself?" All of those statements were ignored by Nikki who pretended she didn't hear them and was completely enthralled with the display of Dairy Queen's newest icy treat.

Teenage boys who sometimes don't know when to quit while they're behind, had a 'debate' about whether or not she had a boyfriend or husband, because that would be the only reason why shed "diss" them like that. One of the boys said it didn't matter if she had someone, they clearly weren't there with her, so she was game. This made Nikki angry, so much so that it took all her strength not to just kick their butts right there, she maintained her composure long enough to get her and Johnnys ice cream. She walked over to the boys and said forcefully " For you're information I do have a boyfriend, in fact we're getting married next week. And by the way hes right over there, so I wouldn't try anything", she spun on her heels and walked towards the beach.

The entire way to the site, Nikki was fuming, the prospect of seeing fireworks did nothing to lessen her bad mood. When she had reached the place where they had set up, Johnny took one look at her and knew something was wrong. She looked like she could kill someone, several times over. _Oh boy I wonder what happened _,Johnny thought. From the moment she gave him his ice cream she began to rant for the next five minutes non stop. After she finished her tirade which included several words for which can not be said in polite company, unless that company was a bunch of sailors she let out an exasperated sigh and said " Im sorry Johnny but they made me soo angry, gah I could just..just.." she made a wringing motion with her hands, which caused Johnny to utter a small chuckle. Nikki wasn't at all amused, and glared at him.

"Oh lighten up, Nikki, yes they were obnoxious but you have to admit it was funny. They're teen aged boys clearly they didnt know who exactly they were dealing with" said Johnny with hint of admiration in his voice.

" Darn straight! Stupid idiots! Like I would ever, I mean...seriously..but I told them, boy did I tell them" Nikki said with righteous indignation.

When she said that Johnny got a little concerned, on one hand he did want to know what she "told them" but on the other hand he really didnt wan to know, cause he knew it probably something to do with threats of bodily harm and or maiming. So he approached his response cautiously " Now Nikki you didn't, did you? I mean I would totally understand if you, did, but umm it wouldn't be exactly an appropriate response", he was prepared for the worst but hoping for the best, but he knew what the answer was or so he thought.

"No I didn't, I wanted to, but then I thought, they aren't worth it. So instead I told them that my boyfriend was over there, and that we were getting married next week and that they shouldn't try anything" Nikki said with a pleased look on her face.

The look on Johnnys face could only be described as a mixture of total shock, utter disbelief and a what-on-earth-were-you-thinking. " Oh all the things you could have said, you thought THAT was the best one.. I mean I'm flattered, that.. I mean that is if you were talking about me, if you know..I didn't think that..I mean..." he continued to babble for the next two minutes. At that point Nikki felt that he has suffered enough already and pulled him into her arms and gave him a small kiss on the lips.

Johnny not expecting that reaction said " What was that for, not that I didn't like it or anything" Nikki's lips cut him off again but this time the kiss was alot longer.

Nikki broke from the kiss and said with a smile " You're hot when you babble like that", and kissed him again. Johnny who was seriously wondering who this incredibly sweet, gentle woman was who was kissing him and how on she could be the same woman who not an hour ago was mad at him for whatever it is he may or may not have done. But decided to not think about the why and simply enjoyed the fact that this woman, with all of her faults, was the love of his life and he wouldn't mind spending the rest of it with her.

The kiss lingered for a few more minutes till Johnny broke from it and laid in her arms, said " I love you", she replied " I love you too". And they enjoyed each others presence until they noticed that the rest of the group was coming. Knowing their friends would torture, and tease them to no end if they ever found out about their budding relationship, had the following conversation:

"So we cant tell them, anything right? I mean I don't think I could take it..the comments and stuff"Nikki said in a hushed voice

"Well Nikki, I agree with you but, I mean we cant keep it a secret forever. Can we? What happens if we you know decide to.." Johnny replied in an even lower tone

"Decide to what?"

"You know..get...married"

"Married! .."Nikki gasped, "Not that I wouldn't, want to marry you or anything, cause I would..." she finished smiling at him.

"Look we'll cross that bridge when we get there, ok?" Johnny said emphatically

"But what should we tell them? We have to tell them something. I mean you're here in my arms, not that you know, but they' ll suspect something happened"Nikki said in a slightly panicked voice as she began to see Kay and the rest of her friends coming closer.

"Nikki something did, happen, ok? So here's the plan, we just tell them everything up until, you know,then well..Ill come up with something don't worry" Johnny assured. Truth be told he wasn't quite sure if they would buy this explanation, but he hoped it would buy them a few days or hours..minutes would be nice.. Time was most definitely not on their side as soon as he finished saying the words "don't worry" , Kay walked over to them, and was about to ask what was going on when Johnny decided to fill her in. "Hey Kay, you're probably wondering what happened.. Well its really a funny story,hilarious even" he then proceeded to tell her all that had occurred omitting certain incriminating parts. Kay not completely believing this story entirely but decided that it was the most plausible one, situated herself next to Nikki, who now had two people in her arms.

Tasha soon came with Val and Quick who for some reason wasn't with Nikki's very attractive cousin Carmina. Instead of inquring what happend, they just watched the fireworks, light up the sky. After the show was over, Johnny asked " Quick where did Carmina go? I thought you two hit it off pretty well?"

Quick who was not in a very good mood merely shrugged his shoulders and had a look of disgust on his face. Tasha chided " Oh come on Quick it wasnt that bad, was it?"

Realising that ignoring his friends would only make things worse he reluctantly responded by saying "Everything was fine, till I asked her for her number, so you know we could go out sometime, she gave the worst excuse Ive ever heard"

"Which was?" Nikki said with anticipation in her voice

" She said...She said.. and I quote 'No you cant have my number cause I lost my phone'" Quick said in an exasperated tone,everyone was trying to look sympathetic to his er plight, but they couldn't help themselves from laughing which made Quick a little peeved.

"Very nice, very nice lets all laugh at Quick...some friends you are" He said with indignant voice, Tasha who was next to him said in motherly tone " Now now we shouldn't laugh at poor Quick..the poor thing" but she herself couldn't keep from chuckling, but managed to regain her composure long enough to ask " Well what happened after that?"

Quick still put off by all the laughter at his expense, said " Well then I asked her if she would go to see the fireworks with me and my friends"

" And what did she say?" Kay asked

" Nothing initially , first her 'lost' phone reappeared and rang she answered it, suddenly says she has to go, I asked why she had to go.. She said " My house is on fire" with that remark the entire group burst into laughter. The laughter made Quick even more angry than he already was, but continued his 'story' by suggesting that if she really didn't want to talk to him , why she didn't just say so, he then proceeded to rant about how woman are too hard to figure out,and how someone could know that their house was on fire. The rant lasted about five minutes when an attractive blond passed by, and Quick immediately leaped to his feet to pursue her.

" That was fast" Nikki remarked on how quickly(no pun intended) he had recovered from being 'scorned'.

" I do believe that's a record for him" Tasha said amused as she looked at him working his 'magic' on the blond.

The four remaining friends enjoyed the sights and the sounds of a fourth of July on the beach, until Val announced that she was leaving because there was a sale on shoes the next day and she wanted to "get there early". That drew a loud groan from Tasha would said she never wanted to go near another clothing store as long as she Val left and a few minutes later Tasha made her way off as well. Leaving Nikki, Johnny and Kay on the beach.

Kay wanting to leave them alone in hopes of a little romance between the two of them , said she was going and that Nikki should "call her later". They said their goodbyes to Kay, and watched her leave, getting farther and farther away till they couldnt see her anymore. Johnny turned to his girlfriend and said " You wouldnt use that excuse on me would you?"

"What excuse?" Nikki questioned

"You have to go your house is on fire" He replied, with a grin recalling how funny it was when Quick said it.

She answered him pulling him closer to her and kissing him. Johnny broke the kiss and replied with a grin" Ill take that as a no". The two continued to enjoy each others company till eventually they went their separate ways, but their hearts intertwined.. It was certainly a Fourth of July to remember.

The End


End file.
